Argghhh! This struggle get’s SO old!
To continue from my last post:
Courses of Action
- Status quo – Keep my 8-5 job, scrape out family and adventure on nights and weekends. (It hurts so bad to even type this out!!!)
- Side Hustle – Programming, then taking it to full time
- Side Hustle – Blog/writing (including books), then taking it to full time
- Computer Consulting
- (Combine Side Hustles with travelling the country and then the world)
Then the New Escapologist posts walk you through taking each item from the list of what it means to live well, and rank each of these Courses of Action from 1 – good to 4 – bad, showing how they meet each item in the what it means to live well list. So then, you total the amount for each of the above Courses of Action, and the lowest score is the Course of Action that meets the most of your list of what it means to live well. Maybe, a little confusing, you can read the original post, I shouldn’t try to re-explain it. Here is where I ranked.
- Status quo – 41
- Side Hustle – Programming – 27
- Side Hustle – Blog/writing – 20
- Computer Consulting – 34
- (Side Hustles & Travel – 13)
So there you have it. I need to currently focus on writing. I can’t see the future of this at all. I cannot imagine where will it go, how will it grow? Could it ever make an income? Would it ever free me up to travel? I don’t know, but I will try to bring value to you the reader, and then I supposed it could. It does for people, even though I don’t understand how. I will not focus on the potential income, but on the value I can bring. I think there is value in my failure. Everywhere else I go on the internet, people either have it figured out, or are well on their way. I cannot find anyone wallowing in the struggle, couldn’t even find one mid-life crisis blog. Maybe the subject matter is too much of a downer.
I think in reality many, many people are wallowing. Despite what it looks like out there in the perfect online world, you are not alone. I am so lost/frustrated/exhausted/exasperated/confused/directionless/hopeless ….. well I think you get the idea. I start, I fall. I get so frustrated that I start again, then I fall again. I think of the ‘motivators’ out there that say I have to want it bad enough. But, I don’t even know what it is I want right now …. so of course I don’t want it that bad. I don’t even know what it is! Then if I find ‘it’, leaping will be hard, since 6 other people depend on me for their food, shelter, clothing, etc! I get overwhelmed thinking about all this. Way overwhelmed. Typing it out is overwhelming. I need to slow down and take a day at a time.
I simply cannot be fake, I think people need to see that they are not alone. I have to be me. If you guys like what I say, find value in it, and want to hear more, then maybe there is some sort of income that springs out of that. With that I can sleep at night. If I don’t have anything of value, you should stop reading!
I have had a good day and a half so far, after walking through this exercise …… let’s see how it goes as I go back up the roller coaster!
– I Am Stuck in Life