‘The desire to care less about things’ vs. Goals – How do you balance this?
I ran across a made up definition the other day, but I loved it:
n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.
Halfway through life, and in charge of 5 young lives, I can’t live like I did in my 20’s, ‘Balls to the Wall’ (Which actually refers to the ball on top of a plane’s throttle. Applying full throttle put’s that ball forward, against the wall of the cock pit. Full throttle = ball to the wall). Anyway, what I mean by this is that I can’t live 24/7 driven by a goal such as a ‘side hustle’ or finding ‘multiple streams of income’. Why? Simple, it’s not my only goal. Spending time with my family is the main goal. A side hustle’s main goal would be to make my time flexible allowing me to spend more quality time with my family. So the pursuit of a ‘side hustle’, cannot obviously consume all my time. I only have 15 years until my kids are probably all out of the house …..
Here’s the big, big problem: just going to the cubicle farm every day isn’t working either, so how do I balance this? How do I balance this ‘desire to care less and enjoy today with my family’, with a goal of building something else?
I understand one path would be to just work the job, and make sure every minute with the family counts. I am not 100% sure that this is the wrong answer, but I have been living that for ~10 years now, and it doesn’t seem to ‘fit’, seems empty, etc. I seem miserable and unfulfilled.
The other path …. well what is the other path? This blog? Another ‘job’? There is no clear answer right now.
So back on 8-9-16 in my journal I wrote: Random Thought: It is our thought about how a situation should be that is most often the root of our problems. Taking that to the extreme, can we have no thoughts/cares about how a situation should be? Thus, we could be happy in every situation, just by being there?
Whoa. I am not clear how this would help me with my balancing act, but it seems like it could help me survive both the job and the ‘side hustle’ while I work on both. At the same time wow, living this way would help me be a better husband and father! So, as I re-read this post, it seems like I have taken a left turn with this thought from my journal. But, I think it is all related.
I am about to head home for the day, so it’s time to focus on this to practice this. No thoughts/cares/expectations for my evening. I will at some point have to schedule things like home and auto care. I also have ‘goals’ for my writing, book with one daughter, cooking with another and making a game with another. Can I try to work on these and still not have any thoughts/cares? What happens if these goals are thwarted night after night and I don’t make any progress? Do I just not care? Do I not care in that moment, but make sure I change things to try to have more success in the future? This seems like a very tough combination, but it does seem possible.
Wow, this blog isn’t big on answers is it? Sorry, but if I had them, I wouldn’t be here.
Anyone have any thoughts? ‘The desire to care less about things’ vs. Goals – How do you balance this?